Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

I found this funny list on another blog. I believe it was taken from a pass along email. Here are some different answers to the age-old question: Why did the chicken cross the road?

According to some well known authorities...

SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken,
cleaned and dressed it, and had chicken burgers for lunch.

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a change! The chicken wanted change!

JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he
recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all
the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that
little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely
qualified to ensure right from Day One! That every chicken in this
country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the
road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road,or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is
your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled
about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain
against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black
chickens.

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken,
but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of
the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You
can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken
was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave
me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not
been told.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
together, in peace.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and
balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of
eChicken 2008. This new platform is much more stable and will never
crash or need to be rebooted.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

You've Gotta Draw a Line Somewhere

Warning: the following video contains content about breastfeeding. If you're a man, you probably don't want to hear it.
I'd like to know what others think about this lady who believes children should choose when to be weaned from breastfeeding. Luckily, I wasn't faced with any dilema since my kids stopped around 8 months. This lady has really taken it a step further.

Welcome Home, Ty!

My youngest brother returned home from serving a 2 year mission for our church recently. We are so proud of him and the choice he made to go. He said it was a great experience- and the best decision of his life. He will be going to farrier school soon (to learn how to shoe horses), then will continue his studies in animal science at New Mexico State University.
Onto the next chapter of his life...

Monkey See Monkey Do

Mara is forever copying Cam. She repeats what he says and mimics his every move. Cam came home and demonstrated to me the art of push-ups. He has been doing them in PE at school. Mara, always eager to participate had her own interpretation.

Happy Birthday Mom

My mom's birthday is today. She's not old, but Cam thinks in a few years she'll be 99. He's learning to count by 10's, and that's only like 5 numbers away from where she is now.

Since moving here three years ago, I've really missed being around her and my dad in NM. Their house is always fun and different. They have horses and dogs and mules and a farm that we love to go to. Not a trip goes by that my dad doesn't have us doing some kind of manual labor. It's character building, and I miss it. The kids love ridding the tractor and picking up rocks and other misc. dirty things while we're there. Last weekend while visiting, we harvested some corn from their garden in one corner of the field. There were pumpkins ready, too, but we didn't bring any home on the plane. I was flying with them alone, and wasn't a fan of carrying on extra vegetables. (we'll have to get one at HEB like everyone else here).

Anyway, back to my mom. She's really cool in a makes-you-laugh-at-corny-jokes sort of way. She really loves her kids (especially Ty) and shows me all the time that being a peacemaker is how it's supposed to be done. (I really struggle with that one). I love that she know so much about plants and animals and other nerdy stuff (she's a science teacher), because I'm like that, too. Mostly, though, I love the way she grandmothers my kids. She's the best grandma ever. From sending Cam smashed pennies (they share a hobby of collecting them), to mailing letters addressed just to them, she makes them feel special. It's a good thing- because it compensates for my inadequacies!

Today the kids and I called to wish her a Happy Birthday, and she said that's all she needed as a gift. If I had a million dollars, I'd buy her something really great that she'd love- like a custom turtle habitat, or self-irrigating garden or something. Instead, I'm writing this blog and saying Happy Birthday, Mom. I love you!

Kindergarten

Cam started Kindergarden yesterday. He was very excited to take his new red backpack and his Speed Racer lunchbox. His teacher Mrs. Canales is very nice and has been teaching at his school for 7 years. They seem to have hit it off right away. I'm sad that our little guy is growing up, but know he's going to do great. He has been doing "homework" all summer (its mostly pre-K workbook stuff) so I guess he's ready to do it for real now. He keeps telling me that "in school you have a lot of homework". Who knows who told him that- maybe he learned it from me! So far, his favorite part of the day was going to the caffeteria to eat his lunch. I packed some oreos for his desert which he thought was awesome. He has PE sometime this week, as well as music time. I'll keep everyone posted on his progress!

The Longest Eight Years of My Life......Just Kidding!

I take much pleasure in torturing my husband. That’s right; I like to pick on him. I love to tickle him so he giggles like a girl. I like to sucker punch him when he’s not expecting it, and occasionally give him a charley horse in his leg and laugh as he nearly buckles. Oh, don’t worry, he gets his fair share of tickling in and he knows how to give a charley just as well as me. What I love most is that he and I can play like kids and don’t take ourselves too seriously (most of the time). It’s been like this for a long time now.

We just celebrated our 8th anniversary. Its crazy how time flies and before you know it you’re looking at almost a decade together. Before you know it, holidays sneak up so fast you don’t know what to get that will do the other person justice. You know what he got for his gift this year? A survival knife. Not some cheesy Rambo number. No, he got a SOG Seal Pup Elite with TiNi coating. Ever heard of Bear Grylls? He’s featured on “Man vs. Wild”. Bear uses a knife similar to Mikes in his expeditions. I know that it sounds weird to get a knife from your wife for your anniversary, but he was totally excited and was going on and on about how much he loved it. He was doing the whole looking at it from every angle, shaving his arm hair and feeling of the blade with his thumb thing. I’m so glad I know him well enough to get him just what he wanted.

We stayed overnight in Fredericksburg, TX as part of the anniversary experience this year also. It was short but fun. I’m hoping to go again for a longer length of time so we can visit some museums we missed this go-round. The main allure of the town is shopping for antiques and boutique style items along the historic main street. Mike knew I had been longing to do that for a couple of years- so he made it happen. It meant a lot considering Mike HATES to go shopping. He took it like a man, though. He planned ahead and wore comfortable clothes and brought along his Ipod to listen to as I browsed all the shops. In the end we had a great time.

There are so many things I love about Mike and want him to know, but for the sake of time and space, I’ll list my top 5:

(in no particular order)

1. Mike is the hardest working man (tied with my dad) that I know. He finds providing for his family very important.
2. I feel safe with Mike. Guns and other misc. weapons aside, I know Mike will defend and protect me and our children if the need ever arises. No pansies here.
3. He is the biggest cheerleader husband a girl could ask for. He thinks everything I do is important and turns out awesome- even if it isn’t that great in reality.
4. Honesty. Good, Bad or Ugly- Mike will tell you the truth if you ask for it.
5. He’s fun. The best times are when we’re being silly and playing around like kids. It’s great to be married to your best friend.

Happy Anniversary, Mike. I Love You Big.